Seasons

Three months ago we traded in the buzz of cicadas and hot summer nights of Southern Virginia for the cool ocean breezes and misty rains of Western Washington. I am now settling into the deep changes that have invaded every corner of my family’s life. New state, new climate, new home, new job, new school, new congregation, new church assignments, new car . . . I still find myself reeling when I step back and take a minute to reflect. Is this really my life now? When did this happen? Who is this “kid mom” driving a minivan?

Back in Virginia, the opening verses of Ecclesiastes 3 were my mantra. Learning to accept and embrace that season of life was the only way I knew how to thrive. “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Seasons are a divine reality. Seasons begin and end. Heaven has a purpose for me. “A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted.” This life is fleeting. Live purposefully and be mindful. Keep planting. “A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away.”

Now I find myself pausing here, recognizing the beautiful transition we are experiencing. Our Virginia years were in large part my “time to lose.” To lose my husband in a very real way to the demands of a medical residency. To lose parts of myself in the bearing of two children in three years. To lose myself in the demands of caring for those children, day in and day out, largely on my own. 

But the deep friendships I found and relied so heavily on? The personal and spiritual growth I experienced? The trials that ultimately strengthened my marriage and ability to communicate with my spouse? That was my time to get, wholly intertwined with my time to lose.

And now I find myself in a time to keep. A time to keep my husband close, relying on him to be home for dinner and on weekends. A time to keep my two youngest home, to learn and play and explore this new world with them. A time to learn how to keep my oldest close, even as I send him to school each day. A time to rediscover myself and learn how to keep myself while working to meet everyone’s needs. Keeping is comfortable and we are content. So what will I get through this next season? That is up to me.

My takeaway is this. We don’t get to choose our seasons. There are times to lose and times to keep. But getting? That is up to us. We can still get while we lose. We must make the effort to get while we keep. 

Having traded urban city for rural suburb, these words by Rachel Carson are something I want to get. 

Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts . . . There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature - the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.

Reserves of strength? Infinite healing? Sign. Me. Up. The air here is fresh, the forests are endless, and the Puget Sound is always closer than I expect it to be. In three years we will leave this place and I will probably find myself back at my keyboard, trying once again to put my feelings into words. My hope is that upon reflection I will find myself and my family in better harmony with God and nature. That we can be soothed by quiet evening and close of day, appreciate the fresh newness of another dawn, and find the rhythm that God has in store for us. I can think of no better way to draw closer to Him and to each other.

"The Old Girl"

I’m not quite sure how to say this without sounding like one of those trite, “Live, Laugh, Love,” quotes found on mugs and t-shirts, but we have truly lived deeply in our little rented home on Newport Ave. This house was built in 1917 and I once heard our landlord refer to it affectionately as “the old girl.” Her affinity for this place matched my own sentiments as I thought about its history. And that is exactly what drew me to this place! Creaky stairs and all. This “old girl” has seen so much and has so many stories to tell. She was built in the midst of WWI; America had just declared war on Germany and women were converting flower beds to vegetable gardens to support the cause. She sheltered families through the heartache of two military drafts, the Great Depression, political uncertainties and social revolutions. She has celebrated countless birthdays, holidays, graduations, and homecomings. The Model T once parked in front is now a Toyota Camry, vacuum tube radios have given way to Alexa and the streetcar line that once ran past is now an HRT bus stop. Bedtime stories have been read, cakes have been baked, bills have been paid, and flowers have been given. Life has been lived here.

Matt and I celebrate our 9th anniversary this year. We are 30 years old with our whole lives ahead of us. But even though we are young and still at the beginning of our story, I know that we will forever look back on these past 3 years as formative ones.

Residency was an ominous thought when we started medical school. Those three years of 80 hour work weeks, high stress, and little sleep felt like a looming shadow to me--totally unknown except for the horror stories I read on the “Lives of Doctor Wives” Facebook page. And they were hard. Really, I have no intention of sugar coating the difficulties that were our daily reality here. But the thing is, we grew! We changed! My relationship with God has deepened, my marriage has been strengthened, Matt and I are better at communicating with each other and making decisions. Our children are growing and we are growing with them. Matt is well on his way to becoming a board certified pediatrician, confident in the things he has learned and eager to learn more. And that has all happened here.

All of the early mornings when I’ve been pulled from bed, desperate for another hour of sleep, by a crying infant or needy child. Matt leaving before sunrise and returning late in the evening, only to do it again for another week straight before getting another day off. Counting down the hours until bedtime with a fussy baby and a defiant toddler. These moments are interwoven with phone calls from family, joyful holidays, game nights with friends, Saturday morning pancakes, and watching stupid sitcoms all snuggled up on our loveseat because we couldn’t fit a couch in our tiny front room.

We have spent countless hours wandering our tree lined streets, playing on our porch, and soaking up the backyard before the mosquitoes descend from June to October. These wood floors have been covered by intricate webs of train tracks, elaborate Lego creations, and a fair amount of crumbs and spit up. Crying, laughing, learning, loving, hoping. Mourning the loss of loved ones and celebrating the miracle of new birth.

This has been a happy home before, it was our happy home for a brief moment, and it will be a happy home again. I have loved adding our story to these old walls.

'“After all," Anne had said to Marilla once, "I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens but just those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string.”

― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea

"Dada-ventures"

When Matt gets a day off we try to make the most of it with an "adventure." Don't be too impressed by our get-go, we fill plenty of days off with trips to Target, yard work, movies, and Legos, but as the weather improved through spring and early summer we had some good times! If I've learned one thing through residency it's that everything feels more special when Dad is with us.

First Landing State Park

Norfolk Botanical Garden

Late afternoons at East Beach 

Virginia Zoo

Smithfield (love their Saturday AM farmers market)

Nauticus Museum and Battleship Wisconsin

These boys are obsessed with their Dad! Planning for, anticipating, enjoying, and then remembering our "Dada-ventures" is one of the things gets us through the long weeks/months of residency.

Spring in Norfolk

Having grown up in Southern California, experiencing the change of seasons is both fascinating and exciting for me. Every year, every season. It never gets old. Maybe it's that way for everyone? At this time in my life, spring is especially exciting because it means we get to play OUTSIDE. We are lucky to have indoor places to go--museums and library play-places mostly, and I do try to bundle the kids up and get outside as often as we can. But those first breaths of warm air are just exhilarating.

For us, spring of 2018 meant:

Hunting for worms and rolly pollys.

(Never want to forget Will's attachment to his blankets ❤)

Daily neighborhood walks to gush over the blossoming trees and notice how the world is waking up.

Car picnics when we got rained out . . .  Lets be real. Spring in Norfolk also means lots of rain.

Outings with friends. Although, my lack of pictures with friends suggests that we spent a lot of time on our own too. This stage of life is so spur of the moment for me. We wake up in the morning with the whole day ahead of us and most of our adventuring is unplanned.

Enjoying our backyard before the mosquitoes drive us inside again. This house is everything. I love that our yard is filled with scrubby grass that I don't have to worry about, dirt, rocks, trees, and sticks. The boys spend hours out here. 

France Trip -- Paris Day 2

Sunday

Our original plan was to spend the morning at the Catacombs, but with the marathon in town we would have waited hours to get in. So we decided to go back to the Louvre for a little highlight tour.

1. Saturday morning = market day! Most of the markets were still sleepy that early in the morning, but we joined the locals at a bakery that will live forever in my dreams. Everyone was in line with their cute straw market bags (kicking myself for not buying one), buying bread and treats for their weekend. This baguette was ridiculous; we are ruined for life. We enjoyed our breakfast of bread, fresh butter, and pastries in the courtyard of the Louvre. No better way to the start the day!

2. The Louvre. Massive. Awe inspiring. Overwhelming. They have these handy little electronic tours on a Nintendo DS. You can choose a tour or create your own by selecting art that you want to see. Then you follow the map around and just click on whichever work you want to hear about. I am out of adjectives, but it was just the best.

3. Uber to lunch for the best falafel of my life. I had read about a particular place and was dying to try it. The line was crazy long though, so we went to the second best falafel next door to save time (still the best I've ever had). No regrets, although a place to sit and some napkins would have been nice. Spring was in full bloom and the neighborhood was darling.

4. Montmartre. We made the trek up the hill to see the Sacre-Couer Basilica. Crowded as heck, but stunning. I even made it up all the steps to the top. The Basilica doesn't have the history of Notre-Dame, but it is beautiful. I read that some Parisians refer to it as the "frosted cupcake" up on the hill. It is ornate and over the top, in the very best way. The Montmartre neighborhood was so sweet. Very artsy and hipster, but with flower boxes and french apartment buildings. Loved it.

5. Luxembourg Gardens. We made it there just as they were about to close. Lovely and peaceful. It was fun to be out on a Saturday afternoon because there were more locals around. Parisian families and couples, out enjoying one of the first warm(ish) weekends of spring. And us. In Paris. It never got old.

 6. Nutella. We had an early flight to catch the next morning, but we didn't have kids! We could stay out after 8! We got a "tourist crepe," hot and stuffed full of Nutella, and enjoyed it in front of Notre-Dame. A perfect way to bid adieu to our Parisian adventure.

❤

France Trip-- Paris Day 1

Paris. Paris? Did we really go to Paris?? My goodness you guys, it was dreamy. We had two days and planned to eat as many French carbs as we could, hit some major sites, but not try to race through everything like crazed tourists. In the end we saw much more than we expected to and wandered the city until our legs were about to fall off. It was so liberating to explore and sightsee with utter disregard for strollers, mealtimes, naptime/bedtime . . . we just did what we wanted. It was awesome.

We arrived by train from Bordeaux on Friday evening. Our first stop was crepes, of course. We ate at La Creperie de Josselin, a place that Matt's brother recommended. It was located on a street that must have had at least ten different creperies, all side by side, all packed full, but I am positive this one had to have been the best.

We woke up early Saturday morning, totally jazzed for a full weekend. We walked all we could and took Uber when our next destination was too far or my pregnant self needed a break.

Saturday
1. Notre-Dame. Thankfully we got there early enough to avoid the crowds. The Paris Marathon was scheduled for the weekend we were there, so everything was unexpectedly crowded for early April. There is a unique inspiration to be found in all of these breathtaking cathedrals, but it is the history of Notre-Dame that blows me away. Can you believe that initial construction of the cathedral began in 1160?? Of course that was only the beginning of building, modifications, and future restorations, but 1160. Absolutely amazing.

2. Quick stop at Shakespeare and Company bookstore. The original location of Shakespeare and Company was a gathering place for Ernest Hemingway, F Scott Fitzgerald, Gertrude Stein (Midnight in Paris anyone?). Even though this shop was opened in the 1950's and isn't the actual location they frequented-- Wikipedia taught me that the 1920s bookstore was closed during German occupation and never reopened -- there was a cozy second floor to the shop that had some mementos and furniture from that time. Rotten luck that we arrived just as a giant tour group, but hey. I got a tote bag and a taste of Hemingway.

3. Our walk to the Musee D'Orsay took us past Fontaine Saint-Michel and a game store called Variantes that did not disappoint. We strolled along the Seine, as one does, and I could barely believe that this was real life.

4. Continuing our walk; a quick peek at the Louvre architecture, pyramid, and Arc de Triomph du Carrousel, lunch (because I was tired and could barely feel my feet), and macarons at La Duree. Is there anything cuter than a French macaron?

5. Musee D'Orsay. This is one of the destinations that we were most looking forward to. Matt and I happily declare that Impressionist art is our favorite, even though we know that Impressionist art is the favorite of every amateur art enthusiast. What can I say? It is beautiful, peaceful, and inspiring.

6. Wandered along Rue Cler, bought the most amazing gelato in all of Paris (the shopkeeper said so) and ate it in front of the Eiffel Tower. It was a pleasantly warm spring afternoon, and everyone was out enjoying the sunshine. We really lucked out with the weather on this trip!

 7. Arc De Triomphe. We weren't able to go to the top of Notre-Dame, so I insisted that we get to the top of the Arc. You can't really do Paris without climbing to the top of something for the views. But when we arrived I was SO tired, the line was long, and I was ready to wimp out. It's 284 steps to the top, you guys. Luckily a worker saw my pregnant belly and escorted us to a special elevator. Score!

8. Champs Elysee. Matt had fun looking around the Peugeot showroom and store, but honestly, it was just super crowded and I really needed to pee. So we ended our big day at McDonald's with a Diet Coke. Magic.