A Mother's Manifesto

Here’s the thing sweet girl

Women are stunning

We are strong, we are smart, we fight to be heard

in the public arena, and in our private ones as well

You live in an era of broken ceilings--

God made sure of that

But all women live in a world of mirrors

People notice how we dress

What size we are

Well-intentioned compliments fan flames that need to be doused

You look so good!

No. I am so good. My looks have nothing to do with it.

I know this, 

Yet that inner voice still whispers

Stoking fires of self doubt and comparison

lit by compliments and fed by my own thoughts 

Comparison to my prior self

Always, always, to be smaller

Let’s keep declaring--

Wellness matters

Your body is a gift

treat it as such, nourish yourself, be dynamic

Your body is an instrument and with it you will do great things

learn, serve, share, love, nurture

It’s not your job to look pretty

Health and strength won’t look the same on everyone

we all fight our own battles

we all walk our own lines

And still we try to match.

What gives, ladies? 

As women we extol each other for our virtues--

Be yourself!

Embrace differences!

Speak out!

Your voice matters!

While silently, many of us are wishing we could shrink

I’ll say it again, it is not your job to look pretty

But oh my girl, all women want to be beautiful

We tritely say beauty comes from within

well, it does

That glow we all yearn for? 

There’s a secret formula--

kindness, generosity, and joy

You will feel it as it grows

It feels like contentment and love

sunshine, flexibility, laughter, confidence

Beauty matures with time and experience

Self assurance, grace, and awareness

we must be patient with ourselves

Trends will tarnish

The safety of conformity is illusive

Pay attention to the things that cause your soul to sing

Those things will make you beautiful

And kindness, always (it’s worth saying twice)

weight, shape, and size have nothing to do with it

So I say this now, loud and clear

for myself as much as for you

Your physical size does not reflect your worth

“Smaller” does not mean better, healthier,

more disciplined or self controlled

Smaller is just smaller

Bodies are allowed to change

Be strong

Nourish yourself, my daughter, and remember

worth is not determined by size

beauty is not determined by size

May your inner voice be kinder than mine

And may mine become kinder as I soften each blow 

fighting to change the narrative

for me and for you

You are loved.

You matter.

You are beautiful.